Finding the Balance

This past spring I took a class at Geneva College detailing the problems with the American family; neglect of children, single parent homes, inadequate schooling, lack of respect for authority and on and on and on. In my naive head I simply assumed that families were this way all over the world, but this semester I took a class in Italy and learned that the family there is a strong unit and conversely it is the community that is at risk. While in America the community is the focus and the family is struggling, here in Italy the family is thriving but the community is falling apart. Anyone looking at this picture would assume that a balance must be found between these two extremes. But how is that possible? What is the remedy?

I have yet to find a place in this world where the family and community can work together as two cohesive units. In the modern world we have "advanced" beyond small communities such as tribes or towns where most residence were part of a family anyways. In earlier times the family and community were truly one; a unit interdependent on each member, stronger as a whole and obviously lacking when a member was missing. Today, by no fault of one person or nation, but simply due to modernization, the community has grown much bigger than something the family itself can handle.

I spoke with an Italian woman on this matter and she said how much she wished that it was possible for there to be a pleasant medium between the strength or weakness of the community and family. Each one has their own set of pros, whether it is in regards to the building of a better community or the strengthening of a cohesive family. However, each pro comes with a cost and it may not be possible to say which cost is more worth paying.

God commands both outcomes of us; a cohesive family and a strong community. Honor your father and mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself” Matthew 19:19. Finding the balance is important to God and should be important to us as well. I do not pretend to know the solution, but I can dream that it is possible for us to keep searching for it together. It is all too easy for those involved to slip into apathy over an issue that affects us all; but no matter how trivial or impossible a goal may be does not give us the right to cease to fight for it.

This Year I Met....

Last week I met a woman named Francesca on the airplane as we flew to Barcelona. She was born in France but moved to Dublin, Ireland simply because she wanted to learn English. Three years later she moved to Barcelona, Spain because she was tired of the weather in Dublin; I can’t say that I blame her.

Just after Barcelona we went to Greece and met some helpful men on the street as they offered to help us look for a screw that had fallen out of my friend’s glasses. It was the first and perhaps only place we have ever been where the locals were willing to get down on their hands and knees in the middle of the side walk simply to help out some funny looking Americans.

Back in September I met a man named Mario who was born in Italy but lived much of his life in the Bronx of New York City. He had just recently moved back to Italy and was helping teach English to Italians. Mario is very smart and probably knows more about American politics than I do, and in September he decided to go to church for the first time.

I also met Valentina while I was teaching English at our local church. She wanted to learn to speak English better because of her job which requires her to travel to many English speaking countries.  Latitsia is our cleaning lady at the convent and she hardly knows any English but never fails to offer a friendly “Buongiorno” in the morning as I walk groggily to the shower.  While we were gone for fall break she cleaned each of our rooms without even being asked to or needing to for that matter.

Anna is the receptionist for the convent. We see her most often when she gives us mail, we pick up bread orders in the mornings or she makes surprise visits to our floor, we are never really sure what it is she is doing in these instances. But the thing Anna helps us with the most in the convent is letting us in and out of the gate. Friendly waves are exchanged when we pass her window and shortly thereafter she buzzes the gate open, allowing us to exit or enter the convent.

Lucy, a wonderful middle aged Italian woman, is trying desperately to teach us Italian. Our class with her meets twice a week and for many it is a very enjoyable time; for some others not so much.  She puts up with our many blunders and questions and patiently repeats and repeats and repeats until we get it right. Laughter is never too far away when Italian class is in session.

As I have spent the last two months in Rome it has become quite evident to me that of all the wonderful experiences I have had and will have, the places I have seen and the monuments I have visited, the thing I will remember the most is the people. Each one of the aforementioned people have added richly to an already overwhelming experience.  My hope is that I will be able to make at least half of the impact on their lives as they have made on mine. Whether it is any of those shown above or it is simply the barista’s at the local Bar/Café who smile knowingly every time we enter, the server at the Gelatoria down the street we chuckles when I try to ask for a small cone in Italian or the little Chinese lady who owns the store a 10 minute walk down our street and insists on dressing and redressing us until we find something that we want.

It was not until I felt welcomed by these people and many others that I felt a sense of belonging in Rome.  I will never forget the places I have seen, but each place has been made so much more memorable by the welcome I received from the people in it.